FAMILY MATTERS 

 (541-343-2856)
880 Beltline Rd. Springfield, OR 97477 
Finding Forever Families for Children with Special Needs March/April 2010
Jordan and Tate 
 Ages 12, 5

Jordan Tate

Jordan and Tate are a wonderful and adoring sibling group. They both have unique personalities and individual differences. Jordan wants to be adopted and is excited to think about the possibility of starting over. Tate is very loving and open to new relationships. These siblings are ready and wanting to join a new family.

Jordan is a lovely young lady with long brown hair and almond shaped brown eyes. Jordan loves to sing and dance. Similar to many teen girls, Jordan enjoys Hanna Montana, High School Musical and the Twilight Series, she is on team Edward! Jordan says that the thing that makes her most happy is shopping. Her interests include having friends come over and hanging out with her same-age cousin.

Jordan has an interest in reading fantasy inspired books. If she had three wishes granted, Jordan would choose to have a cell phone, have her own room, and to meet one of her favorite television stars. Jordan has become more outgoing and vibrant since her placement in stable relative care.

Tate is a handsome boy with brown hair and sparkling blue/green eyes. He is an active boy with a lot of energy. Some of Tate's favorite things are Hot Wheels, Transformers, and Bakons. His favorite transformers are Optimus Prime and Bumble Bee. He also likes anything with wheels. Tate is a sweet boy who is focused on playing and his caretakers. He enjoys playing outdoors and with playmates.

Jordan and Tate have a very close relationship. They have experienced a difficult family life and their relationship has been an important part of surviving emotionally. Although they bicker like normal siblings, Jordan is very protective of Tate. They can't imagine living separately. Jordan is an adolescent and is beginning to exert her individuality and independence which may impact the sibling connection.

Jordan and Tate need stable, loving, and consistent caregivers that have the ability to meet their physical, behavioral, and emotional needs on a full-time long term basis. They need vigilant caretakers who will check in with the children to ensure their needs are being met..

The children need a safe and nurturing environment where they feel safe and secure. The children need caretakers who have an understanding of trauma behaviors and interventions for non-compliant behaviors. The caregivers should have good stress management/coping skills and a strong support system.

Jordan and Tate need a family who will work to maintain the connection with the children's relatives. Jordan and Tate are a sibling group who will be rewarding members for the right family. The children need a committed family who is prepared for the challenges and happiness that these children will bring.

Bulletin #13041

Jeremiah 
 Age 5

Jordan Tate

 
With his curly brown hair, big brown eyes, and dimpled smile, Jeremiah is a darling whose energy and zest are plentiful and contagious. He is on-the-move from the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep, and he enthusiastically engages his environment every day.

Jeremiah loves any activity that involves physical movement or tactile stimulation. He loves movement songs, such as ''London Bridge is Falling Down,'' and tumbling and running activities. He loves any toy that offers a tactile experience, such as rubber balls with nubs on the outside or toys that vibrate. He loves being read to, but he's only interested in books that have texture incorporated in the story, such as Pat the Bunny, or are physically interactive in some way, with flaps or pull-tabs. Jeremiah is very physically affectionate and loves to be cuddled and snuggled. He thrives in one-on-one situations with adults and can be easily calmed by rubbing his head. He's quite conversational and will happily chat with nearly anyone for long periods of time.

Jeremiah has many older birth siblings--eight older half-siblings and one older full-sibling. He has not met two of the oldest half-siblings, but he has had at least some contact with the rest of the siblings, two of them in particular. For various reasons, it was not possible for Jeremiah to live in the same placement as any of his older siblings. Certainly, it is in his best interest to continue having contact with them as he grows.

Jeremiah needs and deserves a loving, committed family to call his own. He needs a family who understands the underlying biological reasons for his developmental and behavioral challenges and who can be patient and loving in their efforts to manage and mold those challenges.

Jeremiah's family needs to offer a structured daily routine and have a firm, consistent method for handling his behavioral outbursts. They need to be affectionate and physically demonstrative of their love for Jeremiah because tactile connections are what best reassures him. Although Jeremiah loves children and would benefit from frequent interaction with children, it would be best for him to be either an only child or one of a small sibling group, given his need for a significant amount of individual attention. He also does best with large pets or no pets at all as he can be unintentionally quite rough.

Bulletin #13011

Malik and Isaiah
 Ages 7, 9
Malik Isaiah 

Does your family like the outdoors; Fishing, camping, riding bikes and going horse back riding? Malik and Isaiah love these activities and will thrive with a family who can help them explore their interests and allow their talents to shine through.

Isaiah is lovable, kind, and helpful. He wants to please others. He is described as having a heart of gold. When he is happy you know it by his laughs, giggles, and smiles. He is a child who likes to be busy. Isaiah likes being outdoors riding his bike, horseback riding, fishing, playing with water balloons, and swimming. He also likes finding bugs and snakes in the woods. He loves animals and has learned the importance of caring for others through his care for ani-mals.

Malik is a child who is full of life. He is shy at first until he gets to know a person.. He, like his brother, loves the outdoors. He enjoys riding his bike, horseback riding, camping, and fishing. Malik also enjoys helping with the horses. He likes fun family activities such as playing the wii or having books read to him. Malik's game boy, remote control car, and stuffed animals are some of his favorite toys but, his most favorite is his bike and he would ride for hours if allowed. Malik also has a wonderful singing voice and will sing along with his favorite CDs.

Malik and Isaiah need a family who is experienced in parenting children with special needs. They will need a family to provide them with patience, structure, nurturing, love, and guidance. A forever family who will be able to show no displeasure with the child when disciplining and will offer a lot of positive reinforcement. Both Malik and Isaiah love the outdoors and a family who can share, embrace, and broaden this love will go a long way in assisting Malik and Isaiah to bond.

Bulletin #13012
The Book Corner 
 Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
By Sherrie Eldridge
 
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning and they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.
Adoption Support Services 

Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center (ORPARC) - Portland Metro Area

www.orparc.org email: orparc@nwresource.org or call: 1 (800) 764-8367

Adoption Counseling and Education Services (ACES) - Beaverton, Portland, Dundee

www.adoptioncounselingservices.com

Adoption Mosaic - Portland

www.adoptionmosaic.org email: info@adoptionmosaic.org or call: (971) 533-0102

Kinship House - Portland

www.kinshiphouse.org email: khouse1@qwest.net or call: (503) 460-2796

Northwest Adoptive Families Association (NAFA) - Portland

www.nafaonline.org email: information@nafaonline.org or call: (503) 243-1356

The Oregon Parent Training and Information Center (ORPTI) - Salem

www.orpti.org email: info@orpti.org or call: 1 (888) 505-2673

Oregon Family Support Network (OFSN) - Eugene

www.ofsn.org email: ofsn@ofsn.org or call: 1 (800) 323-8521

Parenting Connections: The R.A.F.T. (Relative, Adoptive, and Foster Family Team) - Portland

www.pctheraft.org email: admin@pctheraft.org or call: (503) 761-4686

Online Counseling/Coaching - Adoption Support at your Fingertips - Lyn Marx, M.S., L.P.C.

www.adoptionsupportonline.com or call:(541) 514-5572

Center for Improvement of Child and Family Services - Child Welfare Partnership (Portland State University)

http://cwpsalem.pdx.edu/foster/index.htm or call: Dawn Perrault at (503) 365-4772

Boys and Girls Aid-Becoming a Love and Logic Parent (Portland)

(503) 222-9661 | Toll Free 1-877-932-2734

AdrianAnthony
Adrian and Anthony
Ages 5, 9

Adrian is a generally happy child and is always eager to please and help others. He is loving, adaptable, and affectionate. He is very active and enjoys basketball, playing games, going to the park, and loves helping with laundry. He is a very adventurous child and loves attention from adults as well as children. Adrian likes to tell jokes and is very inquisitive, always asking questions. Foster parents state that he always wants to know why, how, when, and what. They feel that he is a joy to be with and is always smiling.

Anthony is eager to please, likes to help and wants to do well and make adults proud. He is polite and it is apparent through dealings with Anthony that he desires meaningful relationships with adults, as well as peers. Anthony enjoys school and loves spending time with his brothers. His foster parents say that he follows directions easily, is always willing to do jobs and will ask if there is anything else that they need done before going to play.

The brothers will benefit greatly from a stable, permanent placement in an environment that can provide predictable routine, support and affection. Their permanent caretakers, regardless of their skill level, will likely need assistance from professionals (at least periodically) in raising them.. In general, both children need highly skilled caretakers who display patience and understanding while also maintaining clear and consistent boundaries and rules. It is imperative that the caretakers understand how to enforce rules and implement consequences (positive and negative) in a matter-of-fact manner, without emotional reactions or value judgments.
Bulletin #12950

Detangling Diagnoses for Foster and Adopted Youth 
 From Spring 2009 Adoptalk
By John Sobraske
 

John is an adoptee and adoption psychotherapist who lives and practices in New York. The article below is based on the "Diagnostic Conundrums" workshop he presented at NACAC's 2009 conference.

From Adoptalk, published by the North American Council on Adoptable Children, 970 Raymond Avenue, Suite 106, ST. Paul, MN 55114; 651-644-3036; www.nacac.org.

The experience of being a foster or adopted youth is both complex and unique. As such, the process of diagnosing mental health concerns can be paradoxical and problem-atic. Unlike other children, these youth have lost their first families. In addition, they may have been exposed to drugs or alcohol, abuse or neglect. They may have endured experiences that taught them to be suspicious of others, including well-meaning adults. Logically, if we are to accurately assess and treat foster and adopted children, we must evaluate them holistically, taking into account a variety of influences.

In my experience, foster and adopted youth may contend with one or more of the following 10 core influ-ences:

-genetics/chemistry (family history/low serotonin depression)

-prenatal exposure/deficiency (cocaine or alcohol exposure in utero)

-postnatal exposure/deficiency (iron deficiency)

-early loss, attachment, grief

-abuse, neglect, trauma

-transitional flux (lived in several foster homes)

-developmental diffusion (some delays and precocity)

-family systems (dynamics in a past or present family)

-larger systems (orphanage, group home)

-societal attitudes (racism, homophobia, foster care stereotypes)

The first two areas would affect a child with genetic depression who was exposed to alcohol in utero. The last area would pertain to a child hassled by peers for being gay and Latino. Any mix of factors can be present. In my practice, early loss and developmental issues are the most common, even for children adopted as infants. For those who spent years in the system and whose parents' rights were terminated, other categories apply. Because each case is unique, clinicians should examine each possible influence.

Loss and Attachment Issues

Children who lose their original family are tremendously impacted. Other losses, such as loss of control and the loss of basic references for self identity, along with one or more placement transitions, compound the effect of the first loss.

Even when feelings regarding early loss, foster care, or adoption are present, however, the child may not be aware of them, particularly if events occurred before the child developed conscious memory. Some say that if incidents cannot be remembered, their effect is minimal, but the opposite is true. The impact is all the more powerful precisely

because the child lacks verbal facility, a well-developed sense of self, and the ability to recall memories on command. Feelings go underground where they are difficult to access and can exert a profound influence.

Some youth are dimly or acutely aware of feelings related to early loss and do not want to go there. For others, a defense system automatically shields them from experiencing feelings too directly. These youth unconsciously develop patterns to keep feelings at bay. In both cases, the children may not have any clear sense that they are struggling with adoption issues.

To further complicate things, early loss does not affect every child in the same way. Each child's resilience and perspective is different. For one child, a significant loss may have a moderate impact; for another, the effect may be stronger.

I remember two girls adopted from Russia who struggled with attachment issues. A diagnostician had declared that one had an attachment disorder and the other did not. Their mother acted as though attachment disorder was a fatal disease, and that the child with the disorder was destined for a bad outcome. The other, she expected, would be fine. In truth, both daughters were suffe-ing in similar ways; it was just a matter of degree.
 

The diagnostic category of reactive attachment disorder (RAD) presents its own conundrums. While attachment problems can in some cases be quite severe and are not to be underestimated, neither should they be over-estimated. Too many therapists predict with conviction a catastrophic future for children so designated: She will never be able to attach to anyone.Such statements irresponsibly scare parents and scar children.

The difficulty is that attachment disorder used to be under-recognized and under-diagnosed. However, once it became fashionable, it tended to be over-recognized and over-diagnosed. Attachment became the disorder to reach for when a child's behavioral problems were over the top. While attachment (and perhaps a string of disrupted placements) could be the root cause of these behaviors, many other possibilities exist. In my experience, many children labeled with RAD are misdiagnosed. As often as not, the problem lies elsewhere, or attachment is merely one piece, perhaps not even the biggest piece, of a larger puzzle. 

Diagnostic Challenges

It can be tough to decipher which diagnoses apply since many childhood disorders cover similar ground: behavioral problems, poor self-regulation, inability to maintain focus, emotional instability, aggression, learning problems, defensiveness, opposition, poor peer relationships, low self-esteem. Some disorders also have multiple origins. Depression, for example, can be chemical or situational (brought on by severed attachment, trauma, identity confusion, internalized racism, etc). Focusing problems can involve neurotransmitter dysregulation, hypoglycemia, fetal alcohol or cocaine exposure, anxiety from attachment breaks, etc. The label is not enough; clinicians must discern underlying causes to choose the correct intervention.

Youth in care and those who were adopted from care may not be able to identify what lies behind their behaviors. Commonly, children simply do not make the connection between their behavior and adoption issues.

They may resist the idea of having adoption issues because they are striving to be normal and this label suggests (to them) that they are somehow not. It is like being punished twice by the loss of family: first by the loss itself, and second by the label.. Adding diagnoses does not help since these all end in disorder. A term which again underlines the idea of not normal.

In reality, of course, children may be displaying very well-ordered responses to a disordering situation. That which is normal for adoption only becomes abnormal when placed within the bell curve of the population at large.

Not receiving a label when one is needed, however, can create other difficulties. If a concern needs to be addressed but remains unidentified, the child may not get proper treatment.

Unfortunately, the diagnostic system is fairly brittle and follows the medical model in which you either have the
bug or you don't. Practitioners get a little wiggle room by using diagnoses that end with, not otherwise specified. For example, depression not otherwise specified means the person does not meet the criteria for typical depression, but has depression-like symptoms. It can also mean that we need extra time to diagnose the condition more specifically.

We must remember when applying psychological diagnoses that these disorders are not as concrete and definable as medical illnesses. Whether one has tuberculosis is much more definitive than whether one has a histrionic personality disorder. Psychological categories are by comparison a bit arbitrary or constructed.

The recent trend to group a few diagnostic categories as a spectrum of disorders represents a move away from one box toward several that express a range of symptomology. Thus, instead of, you have it or you don't, we are saying, you have some version of this disorder along a continuum of degree.We have spectrum disorders for fetal alcohol and autism. I hope we can find more range for other disorders, like attachment, as well.

Another diagnostic conundrum occurs when clinicians view a child from within their own specialty. An attachment specialist may see attachment, while a sensory integration specialist finds SI and a psychiatrist recognizes bipolar. It is like the six blind men who went to see an elephant. Stationed at different parts of the animal, the men in turn declared that the animal was like a tree trunk, spear, fan, rope, snake, and wall. They were all correct, but none could move past his own limited perspective to put the whole detailed picture together.
 

One must walk with eyes open all around the elephant to see how the pieces fit together. Otherwise, assessments become a collage of seemingly unrelated fragments. When professionals cannot provide a comprehensive picture, it falls to the parents to do so. In the course of visiting with practitioners and other similarly situated parents (who can be great resources), parents may themselves become experts and advocates. In turn, they can guide other struggling parents.

The Holistic Model

Child psychiatry is still a young science, feeling its way. Neither it nor the medications it relies on are at the level yet of incontrovertible science. That is still years away. Even as it evolves, child psychiatry must struggle with the fact that children, especially those in foster care or adoptive homes, may display a highly complex composite of symptoms that are not amenable to classification within rigid, brittle, black and white boxes.

A holistic model allows us to think outside the box, and mix and match and blend two-thirds of this disorder with 50 percent of that, and a few traits of that other thing thrown on top. It sounds messy and at first glance a bit haphazard, but if done well, the approach is actually quite artful, informative, and accurate. Three core questions tend to come up in diagnosis: 1. Are there adoption (loss) issues? 2. Is it a developmental issue? 3. Is it nature or nurture? A sensitive assessment can answer the first two questions, but to accurately address the third, clinicians need good information about the birth family's mental health history, the child's pre- and post-natal exposures or deficiencies, and early neglect, abuse, and trauma. These details too often can be exceedingly hard to access. Fortunately, the skilled clinician can still detect subtleties and construct a reasonable picture even without much background history.
 

The advantage of the holistic approach is that clinicians can more closely approximate the child's true personality structure, condition, and situation. They can also explore interaction patterns between varied components of a child's personality. Often, additional components do not just add a neat layer distinct from other issues. Certain elements interact quite dynamically. Trauma, for instance, can reduce a child's ability to attach, which can in turn keep him from being able to process trauma with help from others. One element, if similar to another, may be harder to detect, and occasionally two elements complement one another.

When clinicians study the whole child, what finally emerges is a complicated weaving together of the 10 potential strands I mentioned at the outset. In each case, usually a few of these influences stand out. Then we must detect the complex dance of their interaction. By ruling influences in and out, and noting how they interact, we can begin to penetrate the fog and articulate the real underlying concerns. And when that happens, the way is clear to more effectively treat children in or adopted from foster care and to help them to heal.



JT
Terez and Zeret 
Ages 8, 6

Terez or ''TJ'' (as he prefers to be called) loves to play outside. He has lots of energy and enjoys running, climbing, and playing games with friends. He is very creative and enjoys making up games and learning new things. TJ has a very good sense of humor. He is a bit sarcastic and enjoys having fun with others.

Zeret is very personable and once she gets to know people she is playful and friendly. Zeret enjoys playing with her brother but also enjoys dress up, painting her nails, and making her hair look pretty. She is shy at first, but once she opens up she is a humorous delight.

Zeret and TJ have a very close bond with their older sister. She is ten years older and has worked with her siblings on maintaining a healthy sibling attachment. Due in part to their age difference the plan for the older sister is different than for her siblings. It has been determined by professional staffing that these children will function in healthier ways if they are raised separately. Zeret and TJ also have younger sibling with whom they do not have a relationship. In the future it will be important for these sibling connections to develop and strengthen as the children mature.

An ongoing connection with the birth family over time would benefit these children. Their older sister and younger brother will continue to have relationships with their birth family. In order for Zeret and TJ to assimilate into a new home it would be good after a period of time to begin some visitation with their birth family. Mediation will be offered to both parents.

Both children (especially TJ) have a strong connection to their faith. They have attended Church since birth and enjoy being part of a community. An adoptive family will need to acknowledge that they have been raised in a faith community and try to offer this in similar ways to the children.

A future family for these children will need to support and continue to maintain ongoing contact between Zeret, TJ and their older sister. This relationship is crucial to support and nurture.

These two children will thrive in a stable home with love and fun. They are both a true delight and enjoy each other and other children and adults as well. Bulletin #13050

3kids
Chessa, Apriawna, and Lawrence
 Ages 4, 9, 8
 
Like his sisters, Lawrence has a great smile and bright eyes. Lawrence, who is a little shy, is very polite with a curious nature, and finds his sister Apriawna to be quite fun and funny. Lawrence loves video games, riding his bike and is getting into sports. Lawrence does not live with his sisters and looks forward to being adopted with his sisters.

Brown haired, brown-eyed Apriawna has a sassy little attitude and great sense of humor, so laughter will definitely be part of the picture. Apriawna loves to be the center of attention. She has an amazing sense of humor and is a very resilient girl. She likes to read, ride her scooter and play with friends. Apriawna wants a family that will love and care for her.

Curly haired Chess loves to be the center of attention. A great sense of humor, she likes performing and imaginary play. She loves looking girly so it is a real struggle for her to change in and out of clothes. "Dress up'' is probably not a good idea.

The family for these kiddos need to have reasonable expectations of their development. They should be educated about the effects of in-utero exposure to alcohol. The long term effects of this exposure are likely to present themselves throughout their development.

We are recruiting for a family that will maintain contact with their older sibling. The children have an extraordinary relationship with her and she is their maternal figure.
Bulletin #13006
Lyden
 
A Wendy's Wonderful Kid!
 Lyden 
Age 13

"I'm a sporty dude! I want a family who hunts and fishes or gets out in the wilderness."

This green-eyed adventure-seeker never envisioned helping to recruit his own adoptive family. Lyden entered foster care at age 4½. Sadly, his hopes of finding a forever family have dimmed considerably over time.

Lyden harbors dreams of becoming a crab fisherman on the Bering Sea; or perhaps heading to Alberta, to fish for something else. Life is never dull with Lyden! An outdoorsy adoptive parent who prioritizes quality family time would be ideal.

Lyden initiates lively conversation, and values connecting with special adults. His foster mother remarks admiringly, I enjoy Lyden's sense of humor, and his willingness to try new things. He is very hardy and can bounce back after setbacks.What a cool kid!

Lyden's upbeat resilience has permitted him to survive many hardships. Please help us to give Lyden his greatest adventure of all; coming home, for good, to an adoptive family.

Please contact Wendy's Wonderful Kids recruiter, Kendra Morris-Jacobson at 503-542-2330 or kjacobson@boysandgirlsaid.org

How can you contact A Family For Every Child?
Call, email, or visit us online or in person!

contactus880 Beltline Rd.
Springfield Oregon 97477

office - 541-343-2856
toll free - 877-343-2856
fax - 541-343-2866

Executive Director--Christy Obie-Barrett
info@afamilyforeverychild.org
A Family For Every Child | 4211 West 11th | Eugene | OR | 97402