Jordan and Tate
Ages 12, 5

Jordan and Tate
are a wonderful and adoring sibling group. They
both have unique personalities and individual
differences. Jordan wants to be adopted and is
excited to think about the possibility of starting
over. Tate is very loving and open to new
relationships. These siblings are ready and
wanting to join a new family.
Jordan is a
lovely young lady with long brown hair and almond
shaped brown eyes. Jordan loves to sing and dance.
Similar to many teen girls, Jordan enjoys Hanna
Montana, High School Musical and the Twilight
Series, she is on team Edward! Jordan says that
the thing that makes her most happy is shopping.
Her interests include having friends come over and
hanging out with her same-age
cousin.
Jordan has an interest in reading
fantasy inspired books. If she had three wishes
granted, Jordan would choose to have a cell phone,
have her own room, and to meet one of her favorite
television stars. Jordan has become more outgoing
and vibrant since her placement in stable relative
care.
Tate is a handsome boy with brown
hair and sparkling blue/green eyes. He is an
active boy with a lot of energy. Some of Tate's
favorite things are Hot Wheels, Transformers, and
Bakons. His favorite transformers are Optimus
Prime and Bumble Bee. He also likes anything with
wheels. Tate is a sweet boy who is focused on
playing and his caretakers. He enjoys playing
outdoors and with playmates.
Jordan and
Tate have a very close relationship. They have
experienced a difficult family life and their
relationship has been an important part of
surviving emotionally. Although they bicker like
normal siblings, Jordan is very protective of
Tate. They can't imagine living separately. Jordan
is an adolescent and is beginning to exert her
individuality and independence which may impact
the sibling connection.
Jordan and Tate
need stable, loving, and consistent caregivers
that have the ability to meet their physical,
behavioral, and emotional needs on a full-time
long term basis. They need vigilant caretakers who
will check in with the children to ensure their
needs are being met..
The children need a
safe and nurturing environment where they feel
safe and secure. The children need caretakers who
have an understanding of trauma behaviors and
interventions for non-compliant behaviors. The
caregivers should have good stress
management/coping skills and a strong support
system.
Jordan and Tate need a family who
will work to maintain the connection with the
children's relatives. Jordan and Tate are a
sibling group who will be rewarding members for
the right family. The children need a committed
family who is prepared for the challenges and
happiness that these children will
bring.
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With his curly
brown hair, big brown eyes, and dimpled smile,
Jeremiah is a darling whose energy and zest are
plentiful and contagious. He is on-the-move from
the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls
asleep, and he enthusiastically engages his
environment every day.
Jeremiah loves any
activity that involves physical movement or
tactile stimulation. He loves movement songs, such
as ''London Bridge is Falling Down,'' and tumbling
and running activities. He loves any toy that
offers a tactile experience, such as rubber balls
with nubs on the outside or toys that vibrate. He
loves being read to, but he's only interested in
books that have texture incorporated in the story,
such as Pat the Bunny, or are physically
interactive in some way, with flaps or pull-tabs.
Jeremiah is very physically affectionate and loves
to be cuddled and snuggled. He thrives in
one-on-one situations with adults and
can be easily calmed by rubbing his head. He's
quite conversational and will happily chat with
nearly anyone for long periods of
time.
Jeremiah has many older birth
siblings--eight older half-siblings and one older
full-sibling. He has not met two of the oldest
half-siblings, but he has had at least some
contact with the rest of the siblings, two of them
in particular. For various reasons, it was not
possible for Jeremiah to live in the same
placement as any of his older siblings. Certainly,
it is in his best interest to continue having
contact with them as he grows.
Jeremiah
needs and deserves a loving, committed family to
call his own. He needs a family who understands
the underlying biological reasons for his
developmental and behavioral challenges and who
can be patient and loving in their efforts to
manage and mold those challenges.
Jeremiah's family needs to offer a
structured daily routine and have a firm,
consistent method for handling his behavioral
outbursts. They need to be affectionate and
physically demonstrative of their love for
Jeremiah because tactile connections are what best
reassures him. Although Jeremiah loves children
and would benefit from frequent interaction with
children, it would be best for him to be either an
only child or one of a small sibling group, given
his need for a significant amount of individual
attention. He also does best with large pets or no
pets at all as he can be unintentionally quite
rough.
Bulletin
#13011 |
Malik and Isaiah
Ages 7, 9
Does your family
like the outdoors; Fishing, camping, riding bikes
and going horse back riding? Malik and Isaiah love
these activities and will thrive with a family who
can help them explore their interests and allow
their talents to shine through.
Isaiah is lovable,
kind, and helpful. He wants to please others. He
is described as having a heart of gold. When he is
happy you know it by his laughs, giggles, and
smiles. He is a child who likes to be busy. Isaiah
likes being outdoors riding his bike, horseback
riding, fishing, playing with water balloons, and
swimming. He also likes finding bugs and snakes in
the woods. He loves animals and has learned the
importance of caring for others through his care
for ani-mals.
Malik is a child
who is full of life. He is shy at first until he
gets to know a person.. He, like his brother,
loves the outdoors. He enjoys riding his bike,
horseback riding, camping, and fishing. Malik also
enjoys helping with the horses. He likes fun
family activities such as playing the wii or
having books read to him. Malik's game boy, remote
control car, and stuffed animals are some of his
favorite toys but, his most favorite is his bike
and he would ride for hours if allowed. Malik also
has a wonderful singing voice and will sing along
with his favorite CDs.
Malik and Isaiah
need a family who is experienced in parenting
children with special needs. They will need a
family to provide them with patience, structure,
nurturing, love, and guidance. A forever family
who will be able to show no displeasure with the
child when disciplining and will offer a lot of
positive reinforcement. Both Malik and Isaiah love
the outdoors and a family who can share, embrace,
and broaden this love will go a long way in
assisting Malik and Isaiah to bond.
Bulletin
#13012 |
|
The Book
Corner
Twenty Things
Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents
Knew
By Sherrie
Eldridge
The voices of adopted children
are poignant, questioning and they tell a familiar
story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary
book, written by a woman who was adopted herself,
gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and
shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from
feelings of fear, abandonment, and
shame. |
|
Adoption
Support Services
Oregon Post Adoption Resource
Center (ORPARC) - Portland Metro Area
www.orparc.org email: orparc@nwresource.org or
call: 1 (800) 764-8367
Adoption
Counseling and Education Services (ACES) -
Beaverton, Portland, Dundee
www.adoptioncounselingservices.com
Adoption
Mosaic - Portland
www.adoptionmosaic.org email:
info@adoptionmosaic.org or call: (971) 533-0102
Kinship
House - Portland
www.kinshiphouse.org email: khouse1@qwest.net
or call: (503) 460-2796
Northwest
Adoptive Families Association (NAFA) - Portland
www.nafaonline.org email:
information@nafaonline.org or call: (503) 243-1356
The Oregon
Parent Training and Information Center (ORPTI) -
Salem
www.orpti.org email: info@orpti.org or call: 1
(888) 505-2673
Oregon
Family Support Network (OFSN) - Eugene
www.ofsn.org email: ofsn@ofsn.org or call: 1
(800) 323-8521
Parenting
Connections: The R.A.F.T. (Relative, Adoptive, and
Foster Family Team) - Portland
www.pctheraft.org email: admin@pctheraft.org or
call: (503) 761-4686
Online
Counseling/Coaching - Adoption Support at your
Fingertips - Lyn Marx, M.S.,
L.P.C.
www.adoptionsupportonline.com or call:(541)
514-5572
Center for
Improvement of Child and Family Services - Child
Welfare Partnership (Portland State University)
http://cwpsalem.pdx.edu/foster/index.htm or
call: Dawn Perrault at (503) 365-4772
Boys and
Girls Aid-Becoming a Love and Logic Parent
(Portland)
(503) 222-9661 | Toll Free 1-877-932-2734
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Adrian and Anthony
Ages 5,
9
Adrian is a generally happy child and is
always eager to please and help others. He is
loving, adaptable, and affectionate. He is very
active and enjoys basketball, playing games,
going to the park, and loves helping with
laundry. He is a very adventurous child and
loves attention from adults as well as children.
Adrian likes to tell jokes and is very
inquisitive, always asking questions. Foster
parents state that he always wants to know why,
how, when, and what. They feel that he is a joy
to be with and is always smiling.
Anthony is eager to please, likes to help and
wants to do well and make adults proud. He is
polite and it is apparent through dealings with
Anthony that he desires meaningful relationships
with adults, as well as peers. Anthony enjoys
school and loves spending time with his
brothers. His foster parents say that he follows
directions easily, is always willing to do jobs
and will ask if there is anything else that they
need done before going to play.
The brothers will benefit greatly from a
stable, permanent placement in an environment
that can provide predictable routine, support
and affection. Their permanent caretakers,
regardless of their skill level, will likely
need assistance from professionals (at least
periodically) in raising them.. In general, both
children need highly skilled caretakers who
display patience and understanding while also
maintaining clear and consistent boundaries and
rules. It is imperative that the caretakers
understand how to enforce rules and implement
consequences (positive and negative) in a
matter-of-fact manner, without emotional
reactions or value judgments.
Bulletin
#12950
|
Detangling Diagnoses for
Foster and Adopted Youth
From
Spring 2009 Adoptalk
By John
Sobraske
John is an adoptee and adoption
psychotherapist who lives and practices in New
York. The article below is based on the
"Diagnostic Conundrums" workshop he presented at
NACAC's 2009 conference.
From Adoptalk, published by the North
American Council on Adoptable Children, 970
Raymond Avenue, Suite 106, ST. Paul, MN 55114;
651-644-3036; www.nacac.org.
The experience of being a foster or adopted
youth is both complex and unique. As such, the
process of diagnosing mental health concerns can
be paradoxical and problem-atic. Unlike other
children, these youth have lost their first
families. In addition, they may have been
exposed to drugs or alcohol, abuse or neglect.
They may have endured experiences that taught
them to be suspicious of others, including
well-meaning adults. Logically, if we are to
accurately assess and treat foster and adopted
children, we must evaluate them holistically,
taking into account a variety of influences.
In my experience, foster and adopted youth
may contend with one or more of the following 10
core influ-ences:
-genetics/chemistry (family history/low
serotonin depression)
-prenatal exposure/deficiency (cocaine or
alcohol exposure in utero)
-postnatal exposure/deficiency (iron
deficiency)
-early loss, attachment, grief
-abuse, neglect, trauma
-transitional flux (lived in several foster
homes)
-developmental diffusion (some delays and
precocity)
-family systems (dynamics in a past or
present family)
-larger systems (orphanage, group home)
-societal attitudes (racism, homophobia,
foster care stereotypes) The first two
areas would affect a child with genetic
depression who was exposed to alcohol in utero.
The last area would pertain to a child hassled
by peers for being gay and Latino. Any mix of
factors can be present. In my practice, early
loss and developmental issues are the most
common, even for children adopted as infants.
For those who spent years in the system and
whose parents' rights were terminated,
other categories apply. Because each case is
unique, clinicians should examine each possible
influence.
Loss and Attachment Issues
Children who
lose their original family are tremendously
impacted. Other losses, such as loss of control
and the loss of basic references for self
identity, along with one or more placement
transitions, compound the effect of the first
loss.
Even
when feelings regarding early loss, foster care,
or adoption are present, however, the child may
not be aware of them, particularly if events
occurred before the child developed conscious
memory. Some say that if incidents cannot be
remembered, their effect is minimal, but the
opposite is true. The impact is all the more
powerful precisely because
the child lacks
verbal facility, a well-developed sense of self,
and the ability to recall memories on command.
Feelings go underground where they are difficult
to access and can exert a profound influence.
Some
youth are dimly or acutely aware of feelings
related to early loss and do not want to go
there. For others, a defense system
automatically shields them from experiencing
feelings too directly. These youth unconsciously
develop patterns to keep feelings at bay.
In
both cases, the children may not have any clear
sense that they are struggling with adoption
issues.
To
further complicate things, early loss does not
affect every child in the same way. Each child's
resilience and perspective is different. For one
child, a significant loss may have a moderate
impact; for another, the effect may be stronger.
I remember two
girls adopted from Russia who struggled with
attachment issues. A diagnostician had declared
that one had an attachment disorder and the
other did not. Their mother acted as though
attachment disorder was a fatal disease, and
that the child with the disorder was destined
for a bad outcome. The other, she expected,
would be fine. In truth, both daughters were
suffe-ing in similar ways;
it was just a matter of
degree.
The
diagnostic category of reactive attachment
disorder (RAD) presents its own conundrums.
While attachment problems can in some cases be
quite severe and are not to be underestimated,
neither should they be over-estimated. Too many
therapists predict with conviction a
catastrophic future for children so designated:
She will never be able to attach to anyone.Such
statements irresponsibly scare parents and scar
children. The difficulty
is that attachment disorder used to be
under-recognized and under-diagnosed. However,
once it became fashionable, it tended to be
over-recognized and over-diagnosed. Attachment
became the
disorder to
reach for when a child's behavioral problems
were over the top. While attachment (and perhaps
a string of disrupted placements) could be the
root cause of these behaviors, many other
possibilities exist. In my experience, many
children labeled with RAD are misdiagnosed. As
often as not, the problem lies elsewhere, or
attachment is merely one piece, perhaps not even
the biggest piece, of a larger
puzzle.
Diagnostic
Challenges
It can
be tough to decipher which diagnoses apply since
many childhood disorders cover similar ground:
behavioral problems, poor
self-regulation, inability to maintain focus,
emotional instability, aggression, learning
problems, defensiveness, opposition, poor peer
relationships, low self-esteem. Some disorders
also have multiple origins. Depression, for
example, can be chemical or situational (brought
on by severed attachment, trauma, identity
confusion, internalized racism, etc). Focusing
problems can involve neurotransmitter
dysregulation, hypoglycemia, fetal alcohol or
cocaine exposure, anxiety from attachment
breaks, etc. The label is not enough; clinicians
must discern underlying causes to choose the
correct intervention.
Youth
in care and those who were adopted from care may
not be able to identify what lies behind their
behaviors. Commonly, children simply do not make
the connection between their behavior and
adoption issues.
They
may resist the idea of having adoption issues
because they are striving to be normal and this
label suggests (to them) that they are somehow
not. It is like being punished twice by the loss
of family: first by the loss itself, and second
by the label.. Adding diagnoses does not help
since these all end in disorder. A term
which again underlines the idea of not normal.
In
reality, of course, children may be displaying
very well-ordered responses to a disordering
situation. That which is normal for adoption
only becomes abnormal when placed within the
bell curve of the population at large.
Not
receiving a label when one is needed, however,
can create other difficulties. If a concern
needs to be addressed but remains unidentified,
the child may not get proper treatment.
Unfortunately,
the diagnostic system is fairly brittle and
follows the medical model in which you either
have the bug or you
don't. Practitioners get a little wiggle room by
using diagnoses that end with, not otherwise
specified. For example, depression not otherwise
specified means the person does not meet the
criteria for typical depression, but has
depression-like symptoms. It can also mean that
we need extra time to diagnose the condition
more specifically.
We must
remember when applying psychological diagnoses
that these disorders are not as concrete and
definable as medical illnesses. Whether one has
tuberculosis is much more definitive than
whether one has a histrionic personality
disorder. Psychological categories are by
comparison a bit arbitrary or
constructed.
The
recent trend to group a few diagnostic
categories as a spectrum of disorders represents
a move away from one box toward several that
express a range of symptomology. Thus, instead
of, you have it or you don't, we are saying, you
have some version of this disorder along a
continuum of degree.We have spectrum disorders
for fetal alcohol and autism. I hope we can find
more range for other disorders, like attachment,
as well. Another
diagnostic conundrum occurs when clinicians view
a child from within their own specialty. An
attachment specialist may see attachment, while
a sensory integration specialist finds SI and a
psychiatrist recognizes bipolar. It is like the
six blind men who went to see an elephant.
Stationed at different parts of the animal, the
men in turn declared that the animal was like a
tree trunk, spear, fan, rope, snake, and wall.
They were all correct, but none could move
past his own
limited perspective to put the whole detailed
picture together.
One
must walk with eyes open all around the elephant
to see how the pieces fit together. Otherwise,
assessments become a collage of seemingly
unrelated fragments. When professionals cannot
provide a comprehensive picture, it falls to the
parents to do so. In the course of visiting with
practitioners and other similarly situated
parents (who can be great resources), parents
may themselves become experts and advocates. In
turn, they can guide other struggling parents.
The
Holistic Model
Child
psychiatry is still a young science, feeling its
way. Neither it nor the medications it relies on
are at the level yet of incontrovertible
science. That is still years away. Even as it
evolves, child psychiatry must struggle with the
fact that children, especially those in foster
care or adoptive homes, may display a highly
complex composite of symptoms that are not
amenable to classification within rigid,
brittle, black and white boxes.
A holistic model
allows us to think outside the box, and mix and
match and blend two-thirds of this disorder with
50 percent of that, and a few traits of that
other thing thrown on top. It sounds messy and
at first glance a bit haphazard, but if done
well, the approach is actually quite artful,
informative, and accurate. Three core questions
tend to come up in diagnosis: 1. Are there
adoption (loss) issues? 2. Is it a developmental
issue? 3. Is it nature or nurture? A
sensitive
assessment can answer the first two questions,
but to accurately address the third, clinicians
need good information about the
birth family's mental health history, the
child's pre- and post-natal exposures or
deficiencies, and early neglect, abuse, and
trauma. These details too often can be
exceedingly hard to access. Fortunately, the
skilled clinician can still detect subtleties
and construct a reasonable picture even without
much background
history.
The
advantage of the holistic approach is that
clinicians can more closely approximate the
child's true personality structure, condition,
and situation. They can also explore interaction
patterns between varied components of a child's
personality. Often, additional components do not
just add a neat layer distinct from other
issues. Certain elements interact quite
dynamically. Trauma, for instance, can reduce a
child's ability to attach, which can in turn
keep him from being able to process trauma with
help from others. One element, if similar to
another, may be harder to detect, and
occasionally two elements complement one
another.
When
clinicians study the whole child, what finally
emerges is a complicated weaving together of the
10 potential strands I mentioned at the outset.
In each case, usually a few of these influences
stand out. Then we must detect the complex dance
of their interaction. By ruling influences in
and out, and noting how they interact, we can
begin to penetrate the fog and articulate the
real underlying concerns. And when that happens,
the way is clear to more effectively treat
children in or adopted from foster care and to
help them to heal.
|
Terez and
Zeret
Ages 8,
6
Terez or ''TJ''
(as he prefers to be called) loves to play
outside. He has lots of energy and enjoys
running, climbing, and playing games with
friends. He is very creative and enjoys making
up games and learning new things. TJ has a very
good sense of humor. He is a bit sarcastic and
enjoys having fun with others.
Zeret is
very personable and once she gets to know people
she is playful and friendly. Zeret enjoys
playing with her brother but also enjoys dress
up, painting her nails, and making her hair look
pretty. She is shy at first, but once she opens
up she is a humorous delight.
Zeret and
TJ have a very close bond with their older
sister. She is ten years older and has worked
with her siblings on maintaining a healthy
sibling attachment. Due in part to their age
difference the plan for the older sister is
different than for her siblings. It has been
determined by professional staffing that these
children will function in healthier ways if they
are raised separately. Zeret and TJ also have
younger sibling with whom they do not have a
relationship. In the future it will be important
for these sibling connections to develop and
strengthen as the children mature.
An
ongoing connection with the birth family over
time would benefit these children. Their older
sister and younger brother will continue to have
relationships with their birth family. In order
for Zeret and TJ to assimilate into a new home
it would be good after a period of time to begin
some visitation with their birth family.
Mediation will be offered to both
parents.
Both children (especially TJ)
have a strong connection to their faith. They
have attended Church since birth and enjoy
being part of a community. An adoptive family
will need to acknowledge that they have been
raised in a faith community and try to offer
this in similar ways to the children.
A
future family for these children will need to
support and continue to maintain ongoing contact
between Zeret, TJ and their older sister. This
relationship is crucial to support and
nurture.
These two children will thrive
in a stable home with love and fun. They are
both a true delight and enjoy each other and
other children and adults as well. Bulletin #13050
|
Chessa,
Apriawna, and Lawrence
Ages 4, 9,
8
Like
his sisters, Lawrence has a great smile and
bright eyes. Lawrence, who is a little shy, is
very polite with a curious nature, and
finds his sister Apriawna to be quite fun and
funny. Lawrence loves video games, riding his
bike and is getting into sports. Lawrence does
not live with his sisters and looks forward to
being adopted with his sisters.
Brown
haired, brown-eyed Apriawna has a sassy little
attitude and great sense of humor, so laughter
will definitely be part of the picture.
Apriawna loves to be the center of attention.
She has an amazing sense of humor and is a very
resilient girl. She likes to read, ride her
scooter and play with friends. Apriawna wants a
family that will love and care for
her.
Curly haired Chess loves to be the
center of attention. A great sense of humor, she
likes performing and imaginary play. She loves
looking girly so it is a real struggle for her
to change in and out of clothes. "Dress up'' is
probably not a good idea.
The family for
these kiddos need to have reasonable
expectations of their development. They should
be educated about the effects of in-utero
exposure to alcohol. The long term effects of
this exposure are likely to present themselves
throughout their development.
We are
recruiting for a family that will maintain
contact with their older sibling. The children
have an extraordinary relationship with her and
she is their maternal figure. Bulletin
#13006 |
A Wendy's Wonderful Kid!
Lyden
Age 13
"I'm a sporty dude! I want a family who hunts
and fishes or gets out in the wilderness."
This green-eyed adventure-seeker never
envisioned helping to recruit his own adoptive
family. Lyden entered foster care at age 4½.
Sadly, his hopes of finding a forever family
have dimmed considerably over time.
Lyden harbors dreams of becoming a crab
fisherman on the Bering Sea; or perhaps heading
to Alberta, to fish for something else. Life is
never dull with Lyden! An outdoorsy adoptive
parent who prioritizes quality family time would
be ideal.
Lyden initiates lively conversation, and
values connecting with special adults. His
foster mother remarks admiringly, I enjoy
Lyden's sense of humor, and his willingness to
try new things. He is very hardy and can bounce
back after setbacks.What a cool kid!
Lyden's upbeat resilience has permitted him
to survive many hardships. Please help us to
give Lyden his greatest adventure of all; coming
home, for good, to an adoptive family.
Please contact Wendy's Wonderful Kids
recruiter, Kendra Morris-Jacobson at
503-542-2330 or
kjacobson@boysandgirlsaid.org |
How can you contact A
Family For Every
Child? Call,
email, or visit us online or in
person!
880 Beltline
Rd. Springfield Oregon
97477
office - 541-343-2856 toll free
- 877-343-2856 fax -
541-343-2866
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